J . M A I L

This Post.

I took a cold shower a while ago to cool off from sitting in my hot and humid apartment.  I am listening to “This American Life”, writing this post in MS Word, and am really just getting started on my day.

My sleeping pattern is odd. I wake up in the evening and go to bed as the sun rises. It has been this way for over a week. I avoid the summer heat in this way and don’t really mind missing the sunny summer days.

Tonight I have to do some Access DB work. This work has long been put off and will not be finished tonight. I wish I had never agreed to do any of this access work at all.

Living with $5 dollars in the bank is interesting. I still have my credit cards to help pay for McDonalds and other cheap forms of calories but I dislike being a mooch which I find doing more and more.

Due to a fluctuation of people being in Guelph and my sleeping schedule Guelph is very quiet socially. I did hang out with Divya tonight. Hi Div! It was fun walking through the park with you.

I don’t feel like writing about school which makes updating more difficult. I am wondering why I am even writing without much to say. I guess that is why most of my friends don’t blog anymore either. Either not having something worth sharing or not having something that they care to or want to share. Hmmmmm…. Maybe I will write more some other time.

What should I write about?

Hi blog! ♥

What is happening in my life? Not that much. I have been programming this week for the first time in a long time. Who knew Java could be so picky about stuff…

I now have only one research advisor. I think my old arrangement had come to its productive end and this step forward is for the best for all those involved in the process of getting me out of Guelph and done my thesis.

I woke up the other day really wanting to roll over in bed and hug someone. I got lots of e-hugs over Facebook yesterday and one in real life that lasted about 2 seconds but I was still wanting more. I have gone a while now without any significant human contact. I routinely go days without touching another human in any sort of way. I went two years with no relationship before August and now at the five month point of having no relationship I see a long lonely road ahead. Some days I think it will be a year before I get a chance to feel connected to someone again, sometimes two years, and a lot of the time I think it might never happen. It is not for a lack of trying, I am just playing the hand that I was dealt. I truely miss those old feelings and feel empty in a lot of ways without them. Now I realize it could all happen for me tomorrow but I could also be hit in the head by a falling space rock tomorrow, both are unlikely.

A lot of stuff seems to be going on in some of friends lives these days. I get pretty self absorbed in myself a lot. I don’t know if I am being as good to my friends as I can be when they tell me about their problems. I can be dismissive, I can suggest things, and sometimes I think I can actually be helpful. I keep coming back to the idea that everyone is looking for happiness in their own way and that kinda centers me and reminds me of what is really going on with everyone. I want the best for everyone that is suffereing, struggling, and trying to find happiness in their life.

The coming week should be interesting. I have school, the gym, yoga, a friend coming to stay for a night, a couple of nights out, and some climbing routes to conquer (I want to get stronger for the first time in a long time). When am I gonna finish reading all my books? When am I gonna get to learning guitar and painting and handstands and drawing the pictures for my book? The weather is gonna be nice out this week and that will likely lead to bike rides. My winter bike is now pretty sweet. Also I just messaged someone on campus about potentially becoming a life model, could be kinda fun and naked ;)

I want to say I appreciate all the comments on my post about being awesome. Namasté

Funny how that works.

One of my favourite talks from the recent TED videos I posted was on the topic of choice. The speaker had a certain presence about him and an interesting quality to the way he spoke that made the talk really stand out from all the rest of the videos. He has had a pretty distinctive look as well.

Yesterday before leaving Toronto I went into Chapters and picked up the books Outliers and Blink. This morning looking at Outliers back jacket cover I saw a picture of the author, Malcolm Gladwell. I instantly recognized him as the man who had given the TED talk on pasta sauce and choice (Video). Funny how that works. I think I am going to really enjoy both of these books.

Books currently on the go: Atlas Shrugged, Happiness, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Blink, Outliers